Book - Developmental trauma and fawning in children: first steps to understanding and support

In 2022, I wrote a poem about my frustrations with a system which doesn't seem to recognise that the quiet children, the ones who are 'a pleasure to teach' (a phrase over-used in my own school reports), may be experiencing distress just as much as the children who display their distress in more obvious ways. The children who may be fawning, masking, or both. It was the first poem I'd written in a LONG time, and the first time I'd written creatively about these frustrations. The poem has since been used at a Scottish Attachment in Action conference, and by one of Scotland's Virtual School Head Teachers as part of their training materials.

Then, in 2024, as part of my coursework for the Postgraduate Certificate in Attachment, Trauma and Mental Health, I decided I wanted to explore the academic literature on fawning in children. That led to a series of notes-to-self, while I tried to learn and understand more about fawning in children and how it's understood in the academic and clinical spheres as well as by those of us who've lived it. My notes expanded and became more complex, and after a while I started to think of them as a potential academic journal article, and then, as a book.

As of April 2026, I have signed a contract with Routledge to publish the book, and it should be ready to publish in mid-2027.

Poem: A Pleasure to Teach

Resistant and reluctant

But not (yet) a 'school refuser'.

In high distress each night at home

But in lessons 'well on track'.

The fears and worries all held in;

The walls opaque but eggshell-thin.

No help until you crack.

Internaliser, masker

Adept at staying beneath the radar

In panic mode each day you're there

With a quiet, compliant facade.

'A pleasure to teach' is a survival technique

In constant pursuit of the safety you seek.

No help. Things aren't that bad.

The system – with no will to act - 

Remains oblivious to the impact,

The continual sense of shifting sands

From the way your past has been.

Words aren't enough, there must be deeds. 

Obliged to tell and show your needs 

No help until they're seen. 

*****

note: this poem is subject to a CC-BY-NC-ND licence. You may copy or redistribute it in an unadapted form for non-commercial purposes as long is it is properly attributed. For other uses, please contact me.